Charity Work
Reubens Retreat
For the past 5 year’s I’ve volunteered at the charity Reuben’s Retreat, delivering an innovative approach to bereavement therapy. This involved a gender-exclusive bereavement support group for fathers who have suffered child loss.
Historically, child loss awareness and support has prioritised mothers experiences with fathers suffering often fading into the background. The fathers-only support group, “Dad’s Club”, is a unique space where dads can come together and have their fatherhood, the bond with their children, and their grief recognised by those who directly relate.
Scientific research into fathers’ experiences of child loss is extremely rare, with only one study ever published exploring fathers-only support groups prior to 2025. Because of this, I decided to conduct qualitative research in the area of fathers experiences of child loss and what its like to attend a fathers only support group. The study was sanctioned by the Ethical Research Board at the University of salford and was completed in 2024, where I was awarded a Masters Degree (Distinction) upon completion. The findings of the study were novel and expand the understanding of fathers experiences. Currently, I am in the process of submitting the research to a peer-review journal. Once this has happened, I’ll be able to share more details with you!
Reubens Retreat is a charity that supports families who have lost children and families of children with a life limiting illnesses. They function solely through donations. If you would like to contribute to this amazing charity please do so here.
Testimony
“James was an integral part of the launching of our new initiative at Reubens Retreat in 2020; Dads club. Our group for bereaved fathers has gone from strength to strength.
James has the ability to work on many levels. He sees, hears and feels the stresses and worries of our bereaved parents as he is an excellent and empathetic observer.
James then intrinsically weaves in the ability for our beneficiaries; to be able to support them to navigate their path on their healing journey - in a clear and gently guided way. He holds each individual whilst also supporting the group as a whole.”
- Deborah, Family Wellbeing Champion and Bereavement Lead
Reuben’s Story
“Our journey to becoming a family support charity begins in 2012.
Reuben passed away on the 21st of August 2012 from an aggressive brain tumour whilst on a family holiday in Devon. His mummy promised him that his life would not be in vain and she would be a legacy in his name. After all, each life, no matter how brief, can change a little part of our world.
The family were committed to donating Reuben’s organs, to save others. Unable to do this, his mummy created something special, and just 2 days after losing Reuben, ‘Reuben’s Retreat’ was born.
It was to be a sanctuary, a place where families with complexly poorly children could holiday, a place of comfort, peace and tranquillity, a place where fun and memories could be made.
The family had the opportunity to make fantastic and beautiful memories with Reuben in his short life and wanted to gift this opportunity to others.
Later, when planning Reuben’s memorial, it was decided that the charity would also support families after the loss of a child.”
